So.

Dear Ben and Jerry

We’ve been together such a long time. that it’s hard to believe there was a time before we met. I remember it, though. I was a single guy who liked to sit down on an evening from time to time and watch some TV, or maybe a movie with a little company. I wasn’t picky about that. A bag of cheesy nachos one week, maybe some salted cashew nuts the next, or maybe a small trifle. I guess I wasn’t the sort for a long-term commitment, or at least that’s what I thought. I played the field. And then I met you. I’ll never forget the flavour your wore for our first evening together. ‘Chocolate Fudge Brownie’, I think it was, but that was mere foreplay. With ‘Pulp Addiction’, you seduced me deep into your creamy folds. With ‘From Russia With Buzz’, we should have been together forever.

But then you changed. For a while, I thought you’d left me, but then you came back, dazzling and renewed. With ‘Dublin Mudslide’, and my tongue yearned for nothing else. I thought we were the perfect couple. All those evenings we sat together on the sofa. And yes, there were children, and they took their toll, but they would have loved you too, in time. In fact, I’m pretty damn sure they would have loved you too. Let’s face it, they’re not exactly picky.

You haven’t had those flavours for me for a long time now. Sure, you came up with some others. ‘One Sweet Whirled’, ‘Bohemian Raspberry’, but they weren’t the same. It hasn’t been the same for a long time. Who are we kidding? We’ve moved apart, so far apart that you’re not even the first thing I look for in the freezer aisle any more.

You don’t excite me any more. Maybe it’s me that’s changed, but I’m fairly sure it’s you. The list of ingredients pretty much gives you away there. I don’t suppose you even care now, but it’s over between us. I have to move on. I have a new sofa-desert in my life now.

Goodbye.

I don’t know who the artist is, but I’d like to shake him by the hand.

Back to The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice (3-star review in issue 200 of SFX on its way, apparently, but I don’t know what it says). While we’re at it, Civilian Reader has this to say: “I really enjoyed reading Thief-Taker’s Apprentice, and I’ll definitely be looking out for future novels in the series.”

Well good. However, a couple of comments have captured my attention.

“I was also not sure, upon finishing, if this was YA fantasy or not – I’ve read that it is, but there are some pretty dark and/or graphic scenes in the story, which makes me question if this is accurate.” (from the same review)

“I actually liked Syannis as a character more than I liked Berren because as Thea says, he did have a certain degree of unpredictability as well as an intriguing back story, and that is perhaps another issue since the book is a YA novel and I ended up liking the adult character more.” (from the Booksmugglers)

These aren’t isolated observations either, there are similar comments in other reviews and I’m sure they will continue. I have no problem with that. All opinions are equally valid. So here’s mine:

The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice is intended to be a YA book. That’s not to say adults shouldn’t enjoy it too, but in this book, I’m specifically writing for teenage boys. I happen to think that teenage boys who read fiction probably deserve to be treated pretty much as adults. The content and the style of prose remain as they would be for an adult fantasy novel. And yes, here and there it’s dark. Knives figure prominently and knives are nasty. But look, knives and knife-crime are (apparently) an issue for teenage men. How big an issue I’m not sure, but big enough to make the news every few months. I see no reason why the sort of fourteen-year-old who’s at all likely to pick up a book like this and read it should be talked down to.

And it doesn’t surprise me at all that an adult reader finds Master Sy more interesting. He’s got secrets he holds very close, and they’re big and dark and yes they’ll be back with avengance in the second and third books. In this book, I too find Master Sy to be the more interesting character (that changes as the series goes on, I might add). He’s much more my age, he has a past with some pretty ugly bits, he’s much more like the me of today than Berren, who lives almopst entirely in the here-and-now, is. But on the other hand, I was fourteen once. I remember what it was like and I remember who my heroes were back then, and I’m pretty sure if I asked teenage me which one I liked best, I’d have gone for Berren. Master Sy is written for adult me, Berren for the person I used to be more than half a lifetime ago.

I set out to write a book here that will appeal to adults both old and young, and I’m glad that the, er… older ones ones only barely past their teens and still in the first flush of youth, honest guv, are finding the thief-taker and his lad to be a good read. But that’s only half the story. I’ve reviewed young adult fiction in days gone by, and I found a lot of it pretty tiresome, actually, but that was adult me reading a book that wasn’t meant for adult me. When, much too late in a couple of cases, I turned around to teenage me and asked him what he thought, I found I got quite a different answer. Where are the Young Adult readers? Where are the Young Adult reviewers? Boys in particular? Difficult, I imagine, to set yourself up a review blog and be taken seriously at that sort of age. Who speaks for you? Do they do so fairly? The consistency of review for The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice troubles me. Maybe the readers I mostly wrote for will  think TTA is total tosh that doesn’t speak to them at all. Or maybe they think it’s great. How will I know if I never hear from you?

So I’d like to find out. I know there are “Young Adults” out there who have read The Adamantine Palace, so maybe you’re reading this. Maybe you came here by another route. Anyway: I have half a dozen copies of The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice I’d like to give away. You have to be under eighteen, you have to be male, and you have to give me an honest opinion of what you think. Doesn’t have to be articulate or eloquent or at any great length, just honest. You don’t have to tell me your name, but you will have to give me an address I can post to. That’s the deal. I send you a free book, you tell me what you thought.

Oh, and probably best to get in touch via the contact page, eh?

OK, OK, I’ve come back from a family holiday at the beach. My way sounded better <sulk>.

I have also, finally, finally, truly and really arrived as a fantasy author, as the ultimate you-write-epic-fantasy thing has happened at last. Yes, it’s a Tolkien comparison. Sort of. If the implication is meant to be that we both drew on bits history for inspiration, well then I think JRR wins that by a country mile, but I’ll take what I can get. There’s a little article about thief-takers (the real thing) on Wikipedia. It really only scratches the surface, but it turns out that’s about as much as you need to know to write a book about them…

There’s a few new reviews kicking about. One from The Booksmugglers for The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice. Some “truly brilliant moments” aside, I can’t help but smirk a little when someone finds the thief-taker more interesting than his apprentice. Yes, indeed, Syannis is the enigma for the not-so-young adult readers.

Didn’t make me smirk as much as this review of The Adamantine Palace, though.

“Deas has a deft hand with worldbuilding and history. I absolutely loved all the strange and sinister little touches, like the Scales, that he put into his world. I could have gobbled up twice what he put in without blinking. And honestly, history in fantasy novels usually puts me to sleep, but in TAP I got just enough to keep me curious.”

But the smirk comes at the bit about Zafir. “I sincerely hope that Zafir proves to be more than Jehal’s puppet in the sequel” and a whole lot more. If you’ve read King of the Crags, go and read this review and you can smirk too. It’s nice to know that there’s one reader out there who’s most likely going to punch the air and whoop with joy about exactly halfway through… heh heh.

Status report for editor: The Warlock’s Shadow remains one rewrite away from submission, I appear to have a synopsis of The King’s Assassin that’s about as long as the book itself is supposed to be, I’m still waiting for the edits for The Order of the Scales to Come back and I have a steadily growing urge to get on and start The Black Mausoleum[1], The Sea Princes and something for which I don’t have a title yet but which amused me enough to go and find out who holds the copyright to Fu Manchu.

[1] Yes, I know, I started this some months ago, but it turns out I started something else. Hey ho.

Now I’m not going to say much about The Black Mausoleum, mainly because I haven’t written it yet and don’t know much about it[1]. I have the opening scene. I have some characters. There are some bare plot bones. What there aren’t, are any details. All the flesh has yet to be grown and hung in the right places. And within this congealing soup of  ideas and stringy bits of plot, lies the lurking chilli of opportunity.

What? MORE opportunity? Didn’t we already have some of that last week?

Yes indeed.

For a limited time only (16th September, to be exact), I have a something special in my box of prizes. You may, in a very specific way, put a character into my book. In a very specific way, as in they get a walk-on part that consists of showing up and then getting murdered in some very final fashion. Stamped on by a dragon. That sort of thing. Maybe they get to be tormented or tortured some first.

I have it on good authority that there really are at least a couple of “opportunities” in King of the Crags. I’ll extend the offer to The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice too (26th August). Spaces are limited[2]. First come, first served. Etc. Etc. So: Find typos and get to see your noisy neighbour, lousy boyfriend, the girl that snubbed you back at school, the boss who just never appreciates you EATEN BY DRAGONS! [3]

[1] But what about the synopsis, I hear you ask. Ha! Like that ever bears more than a skeletal resemblance to the actual plot.

[2] “And Lo, the mighty dragon did stomp upon the sea of pointless characters who are named for no apparent reason, and their names were Shem and Lem and Wem and The Person Who Axed Firefly[4] and Clem and…” Nah. Too Biblical.

[3] I reserve the right to Just Say No to anything that doesn’t seem to fit, names that simply don’t work or anything I simply don’t like. Live with it. If your school bully was called Samson Womblecrotch, I fear I will struggle to find a place for him in my world…

[4] Don’t waste your prize – he’s already in. Along with the constantly-rising-from-the-dead-for-the-love-of-science-and-reason-why-won’t-you-just-die Klimitange Skeptic

No, nor her. Or him. YOU!

It has come to my attention, over the year-and-a-bit since it first came out, that The Adamantine Palace is IMPERFECT. Not in imperfect in the sort of way that reviewers object to (the snail-like pace, the soulless carboard cut-out characters, the bizarrely camp yet lifeless dragons, the risotto-like dialogue, blah blah blah). Those are merely differences of opinion in which we can all serenely smile at each other in the quiet certainty that we know EXACTLY who’s right and who’s a dickhead wrong.

Imperfect in the sort of categorically wrong sort of way. Such as refering to someone as a ‘her’ when they are categorically a ‘him’. That sort of thing. Using the wrong word, basically. Categorically, indisputably wrong. Failures of the proof-readers, one of which was me.

Well we’re not having that. So, in preparation for a future career, I’m here to tell you that these are NOT typos, not a bit of it. They are… OPPORTUNITIES, that’s right. Deliberately and painstakingly woven into the fabric of the manuscript to provide you, the reader, with a chance to win prizes…

<sigh>

OK, look, just help me look less stupid. There are probably some, er, “opportunities” in King of the Crags too and I’d like to get rid of them. So the deal is, if you find one and you’re the first person to tell me, you get to choose a prize from my box of prizes, filled with books, Xbox games, the odd DVD and other stuff I’m throwing out cool stuff. To enter, simply post the typo you think you’ve found as a comment to King of the Crags and we’ll take it from there.

Please be sensible and constructive. And sorry, but (when this eventually becomes relevant), the offer of prizes applies to the UK only. Postage, man.

Alternatively, if you want to laugh at me without going to the trouble of reading an entire book and trying to find the one or two mistakes it may contain, go read tomorrow’s SFX. There might be an interview. Frankly, I have almost no memory of what I said. However, since it was in a pub and I distinctly remember not being able to shut up for at least an hour, I’m sure there must a few things worth a cringe.

Laters/

… a cracking fantasy that deserves to be widely read and enjoyed. – My Favourite Books. With “sharp dialogue” and a “rich setting.” Yes, it’s another review for The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice, and the more they come in like that, the more stressed I’m going to get about The Warlock’s Shadow not living up to its predecessor. However, I dare say Strange Horizons will pop up at some point to rip it to shreds and generally put me in my place.

Anyway, little more about these new dragon books:

The Black Mausoleum, is intended to be largely a standalone novel, although several of the major characters appear in The Order of the Scales and if there are any major characters left from The Adamantine Palace by then, well, they might make a brief appearance too. The truly dedicated will have noted that The Black Mausoleum doesn’t get a mention in either The Adamantine Palace or King of the Crags, but gets an entry in the gazetteer:

According to legend, the Silver King predicted his own demise and ordered a mausoleum to be built ‘in black marble across the great river from the endless caves.’ The mausoleum is almost certainly a myth, but this has not stopped dragon-riders, priests, blood-mages, alchemists and speakers (most notably Voranin and Vishmir) from looking for it. The Black Mausoleum allegedly houses the Tomb of the Silver King and whatever treasures that entails.

Make what you will of that. There will be some characters. They may well be looking for the Black Mausoleum. There’s a possibility that one or more has a hidden agenda. One of them will be called Indiana Jones.

The Sea Prince, The Dragon Queen and The Silver King:

We’re back in trilogy-land here. Want to know more about the mysterious Taiytakei? You’re in luck – most of the first two books will be set there. Want to know more about the mysterious Silver King? Wellll… OK, a bit. A mystery from The Adamantine Palace will finally be solved (but at least one won’t). A few new ways to try and control dragons will be explored. One will succeed. There will be a magic knife and a spear, too. There is the possibility of some more overt magic, although to be honest I’m still a little hazy on that part of the story. The cast will largely be new, but at least two characters from The Adamantine Palace will make it at least as far as The Dragon Queen. Jon Weir’s favourite character will continue to be annoying. And, as advertised elsewhere, the Thief-Taker’s Apprentice YA trilogy will be one of the major protagonists in this trilogy too.

However, further books notwithstanding, The Order of the Scales will still have a proper end. No major cliffhangers, I promise.

The Black Mausoleum will come out in Spring/Summer 2012 and I expect to start the business of actually writing it in October. The other three books will follow at yearly intervals. More news as and when it happens.

And before anyone asks, no, I don’t know if there will be a map.

Yes, another review for King of the Crags, this time at A Fantasy Reader. A nice one, too. However, it was eclipsed by a piece of fanmail that showed up about the same time (sorry Fantasy Reader):

I read TAP a few months back and instantly fell in love with it, especially Princess Jaslyn and Snow. My only regret was that it was a first novel and that I thought I’d have to wait ages for the second to come out. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago where I suddenly found King of the Crags, devoured it as soon as I finished my exams … and then instantlyhopped online to see if there was going to be another part.

It’s 4AM over here as I write this and when I saw that it’s a trilogy, I squeed so loudly that my puppy woke up and started barking out of fright. YES! There is going to be another part and it’s going to be the end part so that I will finally know how it all turns out — and yet, despite my glee, I’m sad at the thought of everything ending.

I loved the implication that Jehal’s brother and uncle might’ve been lovers; one of the things that did make me sad about your book was that all the romances seemed to be heterosexual ones so I was thrilled to see at least a hint of something else. Lystra was amazing in King of the Crags, you really get to see her come into her own and most of all, I loved seeing so much more of how the dragons think and interact with each other. I love sentient dragons and there are so many dragons-peacefully-allow-humans-to-dominate worlds out there, it was fantastic to come across one where they are breaking free of their bondage and fighting back.

You built an amazing world, populated it with a rich range of believable characters and peppered everything with minor NPCs and backstory galore — speaking as a roleplayer, I would love to be in any game you GMed. XD

Can’t wait for Order of the Scales to come out!

As fanmail goes, there are so many things right with this. Articulate, heartfelt, and full of delight for some relatively little things that not one single review has mentioned (as well as a few bigger things that they have). It’s really nice to know that’s someone’s actually noticed things like Meteroa’s sexuality isn’t entirely straightforward, or appreciates a character like Lystra, who doesn’t get very much of the limelight, but who still has a crucial part to play. Mails like this popping up in my inbox make the whole day glow, they really do. Bad reviews suck, good reviews are great, but speaking for myself nothing beats a good piece of fanmail.

However, the most poignant thing, the reason I’m posting this, was the title of the mail: Thank Goodness for Trilogies. Usually I hear nothing but complaints about that. Sometimes from readers, more often from reviewers. Why oh why oh why does it always have to be trilogies. I’m not even that enamoured of them myself.

Well now I know the answer. It’s so we can make people wake up their puppies at four o’clock in the morning. THAT’s why we write trilogies.

Thank-you, anonymous happy reader.

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