This week, at the same time as giving away a copy of some poor bugger’s book, I’m going to do something a bit different. We have an election coming in a few months (please do vote if you’re able), and with that in mind it seemed appropriate for this blog to adopt a more serious tone and start addressing more significant political issues than George Lucus’s radicalisation of the Care Bears. So here today are the official policies of the five main national parties in the event of an impending asteroid strike:
The Conservative Party has no official policy, but will issue bunker access passes to anyone based on how much tax they should have paid but managed not to. This is based on the post-apocalyptic social policy of natural selection: only fittest will survive, and only the biggest bastards will survive to rule.
The Labour Party refused to be railroaded in issuing a policy statement of any sort, but nodded lots at the suggestion that it would basically be exactly the same policy as the Conservatives backed up by vastly noisy denials and assertions that their policy will be something entirely different and much nicer, even while they’re quietly issuing the same passes.
The Liberal Democrats were too surprised to find someone interested in something they might have to say to actually say anything. Whihc probably doesn’t matter because no one would believe them anyway. Off the record one party member suggested they might try to form a coalition with the asteroid on the grounds that it would briefly be the one thing even more hated than them, but that strikes me mostly as wishful thinking.
UKIP didn’t have a policy at all, as usual, but after brainstorming with a few beers down the pub have settled on a plan to strap rockets to the backs of immigrants and launch them into the upper troposphere to create a human shield.
The Green Party take the view that an asteroid strike causing the extinction of the human race is part of the natural order of things and probably no bad thing, and state that it would be “irresponsible” to try and do anything about it.
No, I don’t the first fucking clue who to vote for either. But I do have a book to give away. This week it’s Something Coming Through by Paul McAuley, chosen because politics made me think of Empires: Extraction and that made me think of aliens. And having read a little, I think this might give The Death House a run for its money to climb to the top of the TBR pile. Here’s an extract from the author’s blog:
Something Coming Through isn’t about explaining away the alien: it’s about the difficulty of understanding it. The Jackaroo step in to give aid to humanity at a moment of global crisis. They are, they say, here to help. But they’re also wilfully enigmatic. They appear only as humanoid avatars. They deflect all questions about what they are, where they come from, why they are helping humanity, and what the endpoint of that help might be
Usual deal – comment on this post before Sunday 1st March and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim for a free copy. If you have any other genre questions for our politicos, leave those in the comments too and I’ll see if I can get an answer – next week the five main party’s will address their plans for a zombie apocalypse.
No one has complained (so far) about how long it takes me to get to the post office and post things, but it can take a while and if you live abroad then it can take even longer. Sorry about that, but they do get there eventually. Well, so far. Am currently up to date with posting things.