Middle Earth v. Westeros matchcast commentary
A couple of weeks ago when England played Italy I tweeted commentary of a fictional match between Middle Earth and Westeros. You can find the pre-match buildup on the Gollancz blog here. It seemed to irritate about as many people as it amused, judging from the responses; but for anyone who wants it, here it is in less irritating form. It’s pretty much the commentary that went out but I did edit a couple of tweets on the fly and add one or two. Enjoy or not, as the case may be. It’s quite long and probably doesn’t make much sense unless you a) watch football fairly often and b) have watched the Lord of the Rings/Hobbit movies and Game of Thrones.
Good evening and welcome to live coverage of the opening Fantasy World Cup match between Middle Earth and Westeros in Mordor. #fwc2014
The team news is in. #fwc2014
Middle Earth: Smaug in goal; a back three of Thorin, Gandalf, Gimli; Aragorn, Sauron, Legolas in midfield. #fwc2014
The usual strike quartet of Merry, Gamgee, Pippin; Frodo. I fancy Gamgee to play in the hole just behind Frodo tonight. #fwc2014
No surprises in the line-up. Home advantage to the hosts, but a Mordor crowd can be very partisan. #fwc2014
Already a lot of orcs already singing racist chants against Hobbits. FIFFA will have something to say about this after the match. #fwc2014
Westeros: Varys The Spider in goal; The usual Lannister back three of Cersei, Tywin and Jaime. #fwc2014
Stannis Baratheon sitting in the holding role. A midfield four of Oberyn Martell; Sandor “The Hound” Clegane, Jon Snow and Arya Stark. #fwc2014
Oberyn seems to have recovered from those injury fears after his training ground bust-up with Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane. #fwc2014
Hadn’t expected to see the Hound playing tonight, but his partnership with Arya on the wing has been productive of late. #fwc2014
Danaerys Targaryan playing the number ten role as expected; Tyrion Lannister as the lone striker. #fwc2014
No place in the team for Littlefinger tonight, who remains on the bench. Westeros have such a large squad. #fwc2014
Joining our commentary team tonight our guests are the dragon-queen Zafir and Elric Cantona. #fwc2014
Our other guest commentators tonight are Radagast the Brown and the Ghost of Ned Stark. #fwc2014
All the injury news seems to be good tonight. #fwc2014
Middle Earth’s central midfield dynamo Sauron has been declared fit despite a nagging ankle injury. #fwc2014
Manager Jackson restores striker Frodo and wide forward Pippin after both were rested for pre-tournament friendlies. #fwc2014
Gollum remains on the bench. #fwc2014
Westeros have been boosted by the news that Jaime has recovered from losing his hand injury to return to the defence. #fwc2014
Cersei is at right-back in place of the injured Joffrey and the suspended Selmy Barristan. #fwc2014
Arya has also shaken off an injury doubt to start in the midfield, where Snow retains his place ahead of the returning Littlefinger. #fwc2014
This is a true clash of Fantasy heavyweights. Between them, Middle Earth and Westeros have 16 major titles. #fwc2014
Middle Earth – including West Middle Earth – have thirteen World Cups to their name. Westeros can boast three. #fwc2014
What is quite incredible is that Middle Earth have never beaten Westeros in a competitive game. #fwc2014
In the seven meetings that mattered, the Westerosi have won three and drawn four. #fwc2014
It’s reassuring the know that even a nation as mighty as Middle Earth has a bogey team, isn’t it? #fwc2014
Will Middle Earth finally break the hex Westeros have had over them at tournaments, or will the Westerosi prevail? #fwc2014
Middle Earth have played in a semi-final in a major competition 17 times so far, making it to the final on 11 occasions. #fwc2014
They have now won their last fifteen competitive games – an all-time record in Fantasy World Cup history. #fwc2014
Middle Earth have scored in each of their last 20 games (51 goals in total). #fwc2014
Westeros have failed to make it to the finals only in two of the ten tournaments they’ve played. #fwc2014
Six of their last seven goals have come from set-pieces, whereas 11 of Middle Earth’s last 12 have come from open play. #fwc2014
Tonight’s head to head between Middle Earth and Westeros sees two of the new star men go head-to-head. #fwc2014
Sauron’s enduring quality has been a constant theme in recent games. #fwc2014
The 3300-year-old’s passing from a deep-lying midfield position cut the Shanarra eleven to ribbons in their last qualifying game. #fwc2014
Zafir: “His big mace-thing helped a lot there. Added the crunch into those crunching tackles.” #fwc2014
Oberyn Martell operates higher up the pitch, but is no less important as the creative fulcrum of an impressive Westeros side. #fwc2014
Radagast: “Oberyn is an exceptional player, with good ideas. He’s the one who directs the game, so we have to stop him.” #fwc2014
“It’s amazing to see him starting after such a horrific injury. I think most of us thought he’d be out for the rest of the season.” #fwc2014
“We have to think of a way to play better than Westeros and dictate the tempo of the match. It’s a confidence thing.” #fwc2014
Ned Stark: “We’re all fit both mentally and physically. I don’t think we can have any negative thoughts.” #fwc2014
“Except possibly about the Lannisters.” #fwc2014
Zafir: “I rather like the Lannisters. Obviously I’d burn them if I was up against them, but they’re fun to watch.” #fwc2014
The players are led out by captains Gandalf and Tywin. The referee for this one is Loki son of Odin. #fwc2014
A controversial choice there. Some say he’s a Westeros supporter. #fwc2014
Ned Stark: “I wouldn’t be surprised if some Lannister gold has reached his pockets before tonight.”
Gandalf and Tywin each read out a message of support for FIFFA’s Respect Diversity campaign.
Zafir: “Loki was cleared of last year’s corruption charges by FIFFA president Hoofwanking Bunglecunt last year.” #fwc2014
Elric: “Says it all, really.” #fwc2014
Zafir: “I hear the Hoofwanking Bunglecunt might try to run for a fifth term. I do have a dragon, you know.” #fwc2014
Oberyn and Tyrion sharing a joke at Tywin as he speaks. Clearly something amusing! #fwc2014
All very worthy, of course, but all are glad to see the players finally shake hands and get ready for kick-off. #fwc2014
1′ Westeros’s mentally-unhinged front pairing of Danaerys and Tyrion get us underway! #fwc2014
2′ Sauron is screaming for the ball from the edge of the box, but Gimli chooses to cross to Frodo instead. #fwc2014
The ball sails over the striker’s head. As Middle Earth crosses often do. Don’t know why he tried it really. #fwc2014
Can’t remember the last time Middle Earth scored a headed goal. #fwc2014
3′ Tyrion chases after a ball over the top and is judged to have shoved Gandalf in the back as he did so. #fwc2014
4′ A through ball is slipped forward for Tyrion, but Smaug is quick off his line to gather the pass… #fwc2014
… and crushes it. New ball required. I think we’re going to see a lot of that tonight. #fwc2014
5′ Cersei charges into Sauron with a solid challenge that yields the first corner of the match for Middle Earth. #fwc2014
6′ Sauron swings the corner in and it comes to Aragorn on the edge of the six-yard box. He guides it past The Spider…! #fwc2014
Oberyn blocks on the line! The Spider gathers the loose ball! Middle Earth showing how dangerous they are early on. #fwc2014
7′ Pippin goes on a rampaging run down the left channel.
He slaloms through two blue shirts but Cersei is one man too many. #fwc2014
Woman. #fwc2014
Zafir: “I was stuck on rampaging hobbits.” #fwc2014
Loki isn’t happy with that challenge from Cersei. She came flying in with several Kingsguard. #fwc2014
They’re having words. #fwc2014
Elric: “I think she was trying to have him executed. That’s pretty much her standard tactic early on.” #fwc2014
Is that going to be a first yellow card? No. Just a warning. The referee’s going to have to be strong in this match. #fwc2014
8′ Arya is fouled by Pippin in the centre circle. Westeros play it short to get it to Oberyn’s feet. #fwc2014
9′ Played inside by Danaerys and the ball comes to Oberyn again. #fwc2014
The midfielder tries to deceive Gandalf with a drop of the shoulder but the centre-back blocks the shot. #fwc2014
A familiar wag of the finger from Gandalf. “You shall not pass.” #fwc2014
Taking his own advice a little too literally there, as he’s almost caught in possession by Tyrion. #fwc2014
Zafir: “It’s always the same with him. Hang around at the back and lob impossible balls at hobbits.” #fwc2014
“It’s not like he as a single other strategy ever.” #fwc2014
“He’s a good player, but strategically an utter liability.” #fwc2014
10′ Great tackle on Tyrion from Legolas. The Mirkwood player has been one of Middle Earth’s top performers in this tournament. #fwc2014
11′ Legolas tries to float a ball into the box that goes all the way through to The Spider. #fwc2014
Worrying sign for Westeros as Jaime Lannister takes a few seconds to get back to his feet following a challenge. #fwc2014
The midfielder was another injury doubt before the game with a crucial morality problem. #fwc2014
12′ Legolas with an incisive run forward before laying it off to Merry out wide. The low cross comes in… #fwc2014
The Spider spills it! The ball bounces off Tywin and trickles just wide of the post! #fwc2014
13′ Westeros defend Middle Earth’s short corner well enough, but that was another nervy moment early on. #fwc2014
14′ Tyrion draws a foul from Aragorn. #fwc2014
15′ Merry cuts in from the right, works half a yard off Jon Snow and has a pop from range that The Spider beats away two-handed. #fwc2014
16′ A slick turn from Thorin in his own half helps Middle Earth win possession back. #fwc2014
17′ Snow shimmies past Sauron. He shoots from the edge of the box. The ball bounces up in front of Smaug who sets fire to the ball. #fwc2014
Second new ball of the game. #fwc2014
The Ghost of Ned Stark: “Danaerys has been very quiet so fa–” #fwc2014
Danaerys with curling effort from 20 yards that Smaug sees all the way and catches between his teeth. #fwc2014
Another new ball. #fwc2014
19′ Middle Earth’s last seven goals have been scored by seven different players. #fwc2014
20′ GOAL!! Great work from Danaerys as she wriggles between Gimli and Gandalf on the left before a chipped cross. #fwc2014
Smaug was bewildered there by Tyrion in the six yard box. It was the easiest thing in the world for the Imp to head the ball home. #fwc2014
21′ A very rare sight here – Tyrion has a beaming smile and looks ecstatic in his celebration! #fwc2014
Such a marked change from his usual sour expression, but you can see why. That’s a huge goal. #fwc2014
22′ This is the first time Middle Earth have been behind in a competitive game since the infamous Thomas Covenant goal. #fwc2014
24′ Frodo steals half a yard off his marker but is unable to glance his header on target. Good response from Middle Earth. #fwc2014
25′ This may be an appropriate time to remind you that Middle Earth have never beaten Westeros in seven previous attempts. #fwc2014
26′ Great strength from Frodo to hold the ball up and tee up Gamgee for a strike. The Spider gets down to make the save. #fwc2014
Elric: “A great keeper for Westeros. He plays as though he always knows exactly what’s coming. Never flustered.” #fwc2014
28′ Lovely gliding run forward from Samwise Gamgee before he picks out Merry who tries to feed Frodo with a reverse pass. #fwc2014
30′ Merry now has a pop from range himself, but his shot is always swinging away from goal and wide. #fwc2014
31′ Thorin concedes a free-kick for a foul on Tyrion, though it’s difficult to know what referee Loki saw there. #fwc2014
The Lannisters surround the referee. More of a huddle than a confrontation. #fwc2014
Now Gandalf’s getting involved. He’s waving his staff. This might get ugly. #fwc2014
Gandalf gets a yellow card for dissent. I think Loki enjoyed writing his name in the book. Play resumes. #fwc2014
The free kick is a lame effort by Jaime. Smaug watches it past the post. #fwc2014
32′ Tyrion teases Gandalf as he shields the ball from him before being hauled down by his shirt. #fwc2014
Gandalf has to be careful here. #fwc2014
A great performance from the striker so far. #fwc2014
33′ Gamgee sends Thorin scampering away down the right. #fwc2014
He skips the challenge of Jaime before sending in a lovely cross for Pippin that Cersei just reaches before him! #fwc2014
Corner to Middle Earth. #fwc2014
34′ Westeros defend the corner and soon they are on the attack. Lovely control from Danaerys. #fwc2014
She slips the ball into the box for Jon Snow, who tries to turn but is halted by Gandalf. Why didn’t he hit it on the turn? #fwc2014
35′ The ball sits up well enough for Legolas to try his luck. He hits a solid strike on target that The Spider saves well! #fwc2014
36′ Tyrion is onside as he chases a after a long clearance from the Westeros half… #fwc2014
GOAL!! An unerring strike right into the top corner from the edge of the box! Fantastic! Smaug flails. #fwc2014
Classic dragon error. He tried to burn the ball out of the air when a simple parry would probably have done. #fwc2014
Tyrion celebrates his second goal of the game by whipping off his shirt and striking a pose. That’s a booking. Not that he’ll care. #fwc2014
Middle Earth players surround the referee now claiming that not all of the ash crossed the line. #fwc2014
Ned Stark: “Looking at the video replay they might have a point.” #fwc2014
Doesn’t matter. Loki has given it. #fwc2014
Elric: “The video clearly shows the ball bursts into flames well before it crosses the line.” #fwc2014
Zafir: “Does ash still count?” #fwc2014
Still doesn’t matter. Smaug and Sauron are furious but it’s 2-0 Westeros. #fwc2014
39′ Pippin’s control lets him down inside the Westeros box. Middle Earth look rattled. #fwc2014
41′ Tyrion is now Westeros’s joint-highest all-time scorer in this championship, level with Danaerys. #fwc2014
42′ Gandalf kicks the ball out play as Danaerys is on the floor writhing around in pain. #fwc2014
There was some argy-bargy in the box there between Danaerys and Smaug. #fwc2014
The replay shows an exchange of words and then Smaug flattens her with a swat of his tail. Uh-oh. The referee saw it too. #fwc2014
That’s a yellow card for Smaug. The dragon is furious. Incandescent, you might say. #fwc2014
There’s been some off-the-pitch banter on Twitter between Smaug and Danaerys before the match, but that’s no excuse. #fwc2014
Smaug has lost it! Westeros and Middle Earth players fleeing the penalty box. Smaug is breathing fire everywhere. #fwc2014
Danaerys enveloped in flames. Just as well she’s fire-proof. #fwc2014
Smaug smashes the goal. Loki shows the red card. Smaug tries to eat him. #fwc2014
The dragon’s completely lost it. He leaves the pitch at last. Middle Earth down to ten men. #fwc2014
That’s the last thing they need. #fwc2014
44′ Danaerys leaves the field on her feet, and will rejoin play shortly. Middle Earth’s can’t wait for half time. #fwc2014
Loki magics the goal back together. Looks like Gandalf’s going to replace Smaug at least until half time. #fwc2014
45′ Gimli plays the give-and-go down the left. He gets the ball back and crosses it, but The Spider comfortably claims it. #fwc2014
45+1′ Middle Earth win a corner, but The Hound heads it clear as the first defender. #fwc2014
45+2′ Half-time is signalled. Middle Earth go into the break two goals and a man down. #fwc2014
Not many would have predicted that before kick-off, but Tyrion’s brace has got Westeros dreaming. #fwc2014
Plenty to talk about from that first half. Two goals and the sending off. What do you make of that? #fwc2014
Radagast: “Middle Earth have produced some quality moves in the first half but their finishing has been poor.” #fwc2014
Elric: “It’s the same old story. They grandstand. It’s great spectacle, but there doesn’t seem to be the commitment any more.” #fwc2014
Radagast: “Smaug was new to the team and the manager’s brought him in to add something new. But it hasn’t paid off.” #fwc2014
Zafir: “It’s bound to happen sooner or later if you leave a dragon like that without a rider.” #fwc2014
Zafir: “’I and fire, I am death’ is all very well for the pre-match press conference, but what you are now, mate, is sent off.” #fwc2014
Radagast: “Westeros have gone in at half time very happy.” #fwc2014
Ned Stark’s ghost: “Tyrion rocks tonight and he well deserved this show. It’s maybe his star hour tonight.” #fwc2014
Elric: “After everything he’s been through the law of averages owed him a couple of goals. Superb! Tyrion should stay hungry.” #fwc2014
Ned Stark’s ghost: “Westeros are a team with a tendency to implode, but tonight they’ve kept it together admirably.” #fwc2014
Elric: “Do you see any way for Middle Earth to get back into this? Ten men and two goals down?” #fwc2014
Radagast: “Honestly? No.” #fwc2014
Zafir: “Fat chance.” #fwc2014
Ned Stark’s ghost: “I wouldn’t be so sure. Westeros are going to feel comfortable now, and that’s dangerous.” #fwc2014
Ned Stark’s ghost: “They’ll sit back and turn on one another. And you just can’t do that against Middle Earth’s front four.” #fwc2014
Ned Stark’s ghost: “Hobbits are so incredibly dangerous.” #fwc2014
Ned Stark’s ghost: “They’re not much to look at, but Middle Earth are at their best with their backs to the wall.” #fwc2014
The teams return. Looks like Gandalf is staying in goal. Middle Earth sticking to their attacking formation. #fwc2014
It’s going to be fascinating second half. #fwc2014
46′ The second half is underway! #fwc2014
47′ Middle Earth substitutions: Gollum and Bilbo were introduced at half-time for Frodo and Pippin. #fwc2014
Bizarrely Tyrion and Oberyn Martell have been substituted for Westeros. Brienne for Oberyn is a defensive move. #fwc2014
Oberyn is apparently suffering a recurrence of his crushed skull injury. No news on Tyrion. Reek up front? Really? Reek? #fwc2014
48′ Bilbo makes an impact early in the second half, showing good feet to create a chance for himself in the box. #fwc2014
I don’t know what’s been going on in the Westeros dressing room, but that substitution makes no sense. #fwc2014
49′ Bilbo’s pass for Merry on the edge of the box runs behind him to Gimli, who plays a one-two with Merry… #fwc2014
…and sends his sidefooted effort from the edge of the box over the bar! Great start to the second half from Middle Earth. #fwc2014
They are attacking with real purpose. #fwc2014
51′ Problems for Westeros in midfield. The Hound and Arya have tangled. The Hound isn’t getting up. #fwc2014
He was pretty close to Smaug when the dragon went off at the end of the first half. It’s rattled him. #fwc2014
No, he’s not getting up. Westeros use their third substitution and bring on Littlefinger. #fwc2014
54′ Bilbo’s cross is blocked but it runs to Gollum. Gollum goes down, possibly with a Lannister knife in his back. #fwc2014
He’s up again. Only muted appeals and play continues. Referee Loki isn’t interested. #fwc2014
55′ Searing run from Gamgee to the byline and he pulls the ball back for Legolas. #fwc2014
56′ Gollum charges into the area but it’s a well-timed tackle from Stannis that means Westeros only concede a corner. #fwc2014
Despite being down to ten men it’s all Middle Earth at the moment. Reek looking very isolated up front. #fwc2014
59′ Gamgee linking up well with Thorin again down the right. That flank looks like a good source of chances for Middle Earth. #fwc2014
60′ Danaerys has the ball on the corner of the Middle Earth area and she has only one intention. She hits a curling low strike… #fwc2014
…great save from Gandalf. Danaerys is looking sharper than she did in the first half. She’s a real threat. #fwc2014
61′ Stannis goes into the referee’s book for a foul on Merry. The free-kick is in a central area, about 25 yards from goal. #fwc2014
Sauron, Gamgee and Bilbo all fancy taking this. #fwc2014
62′ It will be Sauron to strike. Plenty of dip and bend on it as it head for the top corner, but The Spider saves well! #fwc2014
63′ Jaime Lannister on a meandering run out of defence. He’s… #fwc2014
Well. #fwc2014
I don’t know what happened there. #fwc2014
Thorin kicks the ball out of play. There are three Westeros players down. A misunderstanding between Jaime and Jon Snow. #fwc2014
Snow takes the worse of it. Then bizarrely Jaime spins out of the collision and smacks into Danaerys. She goes down and… #fwc2014
Did he tread on her head? He did! That looks more like a stamp. Westeros with some serious problems here. #fwc2014
Jaime is on his feet again. Dirty looks from Jon Snow, who is also up, but they’re having to bring on the stretcher for Danaerys. #fwc2014
Westeros have used all three substitutions already. If she can’t continue, they’re down to ten men too. #fwc2014
Wait! Snow is limping off! Looks like he can’t continue either! #fwc2014
Is he faking it? #fwc2014
Westeros have always had a discipline issue and tensions in the team, but what a time to implode! #fwc2014
65′ Reek tries to catch Gandalf off his guard with an effort on goal. it’s an easy catch for the keeper in the end. #fwc2014
67′ Littlefinger and Arya exchange incisive passes and Arya fires wide! That would have surely been curtains for Middle Earth! #fwc2014
Despite being down to nine men – entirely of their own making – Westeros are still dominating the midfield. #fwc2014
69′ Another collision between two Westerosi, this time Littlefinger and Cersei. #fwc2014
Middle Earth put the ball out of play so that Cersei can receive treatment. That has not gone down well with the crowd. #fwc2014
71′ Middle Earth substitution: Tauriel repalces Thorin. #fwc2014
72′ Both teams have now used all three of their substitutions. #fwc2014
73′ Gandalf is closed down as he tries to make a clearance and is rattled into making an error! #fwc2014
Arya twists and turns to leave Gandalf flat on his back before firing a low strike inches wide of the far post! #fwc2014
Brienne was screaming for the square pass but Arya went for glory. #fwc2014
75′ Gollum wins a corner. Every set piece not converted now will start to sap the belief from the Middle Earth team. #fwc2014
76′ Aragorn heads wide. He looks wholly disappointed with himself as he trots back to his own half. #fwc2014
78′ Great tackle from Arya as Gollum was preparing to surge into the Westeros box. #fwc2014
79′ Lovely pass from Brienne to send Arya away down the left. The midfielder hooks the ball into the box but Gandalf intercepts. #fwc2014
81′ The Westeros penalty box looks very chopped up. A consequence of Smaug’s first half rampage. #fwc2014
The game is really opening up now. 10 v. 9 and both sides are looking desperate. Several Westeros players carrying injuries now. #fwc2014
82′ Sauron’s cross is headed away by Stannis and in the blink of an eye Littlefinger is clean through on goal! #fwc2014
As two despairing dwarves dive in he shoots into the side netting! #fwc2014
Gandalf lumps the ball forward to Middle Earth’s attacking line. Whatever subtlety they once had is long gone. #fwc2014
That’s just what he does. Never mind the midfield. Always the same long ball to the hobbit front line and hope for the best. #fwc2014
They could do with playing it through the middle of the pitch more. Their play has become a bit one-dimensional. #fwc2014
The Middle Earth midfield looked like a second bank of defenders for most of the first half. They don’t look it now. #fwc2014
84′ Arya is booked for a foul on Gollum. #fwc2014
85′ Quick one-two inside the Westeros box and Bilbo has the ball right in front of goal… #fwc2014
Another excellent tackle from Cersei! She punches Gollum in delight at her great piece of defence! #fwc2014
Jaime brings down Merry right on the edge of the box. Straight into Loki’s book. Yellow card. #fwc2014
Middle Earth are screaming for him to be sent off but he survives. A nod from Tywin there: “well done, my son.” #fwc2014
Ooof. Sauron takes the free kick and blasts the ball straight into the wall and straight into Arya. #fwc2014
Cersei clears, but the Westeros winger is down. That was some strike by Sauron. Loki is inspecting the ball. #fwc2014
Another new ball needed. #fwc2014
Tywin is having a word with the referee and the fourth official. The fourth official looks a lot bigger than I remember. #fwc2014
Westeros are trying to bring on another substitiute! Sansa for Arya! That’s a fourth substitute! They can’t do that! #fwc2014
The referee hasn’t noticed. That or he doesn’t care. #fwc2014
Middle Earth players surround Loki . . . Whoa! Sauron just picked Loki up and choke-slammed him. #fwc2014
Middle Earth are all over the fourth official . . . I thought the fourth official was a bit bigger – isn’t that the Mountain? #fwc2014
Tywin Lannister giving himself an insurance policy. This will sour the win, if Westeros hang in there. #fwc2014
Loki’s back on his feet. He’s realised his mistake now. He’s waving Sansa off the pitch. She won’t be allowed to play. #fwc2014
Straight red card for Sauron for violent conduct. Off the pitch both sets of substitutes are laying into each other. #fwc2014
The Mountain is down, swarmed by dwarves. Possibly they’re trying to build a new kingdom inside him. #fwc2014
Arwen pushes Sansa and Sansa’s not taking that. The officials need to break this up. #fwc2014
89′ On the pitch Tywin goes into the book, but he won’t mind one jot. Only injury time stands between Westeros and a win now. #fwc2014
90′ Gandalf comes up for a Middle Earth corner, but runs back to his own goal after a shot flies wide of The Spider’s goal. #fwc2014
90+1′ We are in the first of four minutes of added time. #fwc2014
90+2′ PENALTY!! Cersei handles inside the box under pressure from Gollum! A lifeline for Middle Earth! Gollum to take it… #fwc2014
90+2′ GOAL!! Gollum only takes a one-step run-up, but his penalty is good enough to fly out of the diving The Spider’s reach! #fwc2014
2-1. They can’t, can they? #fwc2014
90+3′ Gandalf is now stationed in the centre circle as Middle Earth lay siege to the Westeros goal. #fwc2014
Middle Earth playing a 1-2-6 formation now! #fwc2014
Aragorn is booked for a barge on Tywin. Westeros can breathe again. #fwc2014
90+5′ Gandalf charges up for one final free-kick by the halfway line, but Middle Earth play it short! #fwc2014
By the time it’s sent into the box the final whistle has been blown! Westeros WIN! #fwc2014
Well, that was quite incredible. Westeros worthy winners on the night, with Tyrion their two-goal hero. #fwc2014
They played well in the first half and deserved their half-time lead. But the news is all going to be about the second half. #fwc2014
Lots of controversy there, but lets not forget that Westeros were 2-0 up before Smaug was sent off. #fwc2014
Westeros team has been decimated. Looks like most of their best players will be out for the next match. Last thoughts? #fwc2014
Ned Stark: “Typical Lannister defensive strategy in the second half. Bugger up everything even if you don’t need to.” #fwc2014
Radagast: “Middle Earth will need to re-think their strategy. They have the players but they need way more depth.” #fwc2014
Elric: “Both teams gave us a full exhibition of both their strengths and their weaknesses.” #fwc2014
Zafir: “A marvel of destructive play by Westeros. I look forward to playing them. What’s left of them.” #fwc2014
And that concludes our commentary for tonight. #fwc2014