Book Giveaway- Charm (15/7/2013)
So the last week has largely been about polishing up my contribution to a novel coming out next year that I still can’t talk about. As far as I know, everyone that needs to has now signed contracts and so maybe there’s going to be an announcement by Gollancz next week. Or maybe now. Who knows.
Any other news I might have had for the week is answered by this question: What do Charlemagne, Catherine de Medici, Benjamin Franklin, Mahatma Ghandi and Rudolph Valentino have in common?
Anyway, I promised Charm by Sarah Pinborough for the giveaway this week. Since the Poison ARC was so popular, Sarah’s editor has kindly offered three signed copies. You’re going to have to earn them though: we’re going to plat smut supermarket this week and each time you get through the alphabet, I release another book until all three are in play.
Usual deal – comment on this post before July 20th and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim for a free copy of the book.
In keeping with Sarah’s Twitter feed and the general thrust of this series, this week we’re playing Rude Supermarket, or Smutty Supermarket, however you want to call it. So A is for “Anal Sex: A Beginners Guide, B is for Butt plug and so on and so forth. All those things Tescos and Sainsburys sell in the curtained-off over-18s only section… Wait, y’all do know about that right…?
Anyway, to enter the competition, you have to play the game. You can enter as may times as you like but I’ll count the first two entries – the rest are just for fun and showing off. Extra points for humour and originality, not that extra points actually translates into anything useful :-p
Although, though no one has yet complained about how long it takes me to get to the post office and post things, it can take a while and if you live abroad then it can take even longer. Sorry about that, but they do get there eventually. Well, so far.
July 15th, 2013 at 11: 26 am
B is for Brazilian Fart Porn.
It’s an actual thing I swear. Look it up at your own peril.
July 15th, 2013 at 11: 26 am
C is for Cum-dumpster.
July 15th, 2013 at 11: 27 am
D is for Dick
July 15th, 2013 at 11: 30 am
Wait do we need to be able to buy these? That’s the supermarket thing right?
So I guess ‘The Best of Brazilian Fart Porn 3D’ and Dick ring?
July 15th, 2013 at 11: 30 am
E is for Erotic Enema
July 15th, 2013 at 11: 31 am
F is for Fungal Treatment Cream
July 15th, 2013 at 11: 36 am
G is for Google, Going Incognito
July 15th, 2013 at 12: 44 pm
I claim “S” for “Space Docking” as told to me by someone at work, with the caveat of “NSFW” in flashing letters.
July 15th, 2013 at 1: 21 pm
T is for Tibulus as in St Tibulus the dirty feckers(Careful now , down within that sort of thing)
July 15th, 2013 at 1: 30 pm
S is, of course, for Soapy Tit Wank.
July 15th, 2013 at 1: 44 pm
C is for cunt and also the cock that cums in between…. Have I gone too far…?
July 15th, 2013 at 1: 46 pm
H is for Hardcore, Hamfisting and Hentai
July 15th, 2013 at 1: 54 pm
M is for all the MILFs mulling over the mouthwatering melons.
July 15th, 2013 at 2: 23 pm
Really want to read this!!
July 15th, 2013 at 9: 50 pm
P is for Pacific Rimming.
July 16th, 2013 at 7: 10 am
A couple of comments – There is no “too far,” you don’t have to come up with something you could strictly buy and ALPHABETICAL ORDER PEOPLE. We’re up to I, which I’m quite sure is for some sort of Inserting of something.
July 16th, 2013 at 7: 24 am
Impaled on his throbbing member
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 08 am
U is for urethral splint for when the spirit is willing but the flesh is flaccid
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 11 am
“J” is for an inflamed pus filled “Japs Eye”
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 13 am
“K” is for a throbbing engorged “kootch”
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 14 am
“L” is for a 10 ounce “Labia”
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 15 am
“M” is for a moreish cunt
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 15 am
“N” is for a sweaty “nut sack” (on special this week)
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 18 am
D is for Derelict Daughter
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 26 am
‘O’ is for ‘Oregasmo’, the sexy herb.
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 31 am
“S” is for Spittle stretched sphincter
July 16th, 2013 at 8: 53 am
O = Oral sex. Which means talking about sex. Obviously.
What is with the ridiculously confusing order above anyway? Are people trying to confuse me?
July 16th, 2013 at 9: 00 am
“O” is for orally opened orifice.
July 16th, 2013 at 9: 01 am
“P” is for penally penetrated pussy.
July 16th, 2013 at 9: 05 am
P is for Pearl Necklace
July 16th, 2013 at 9: 15 am
Quim (an old slang term for female genitals)
July 16th, 2013 at 9: 17 am
Q is for a Queef greased cock rocket
July 16th, 2013 at 9: 52 am
Z is for Zuffle. Roger Mellie states that it is the act of wiping ones cock on the curtains of a posh birds house after sex.
July 16th, 2013 at 11: 44 am
S is for Sarah Pinborough.
July 16th, 2013 at 6: 31 pm
R is for rimming
Or rogering
Rash
Racktaculous
July 17th, 2013 at 7: 23 am
S is for Soapy Sodomy!
July 17th, 2013 at 9: 02 am
The dirtiest thing starting with S is Sarah Pinborough;-)
July 17th, 2013 at 9: 27 am
S is for Sloppy Spunk Spillage!
July 17th, 2013 at 9: 33 am
Scissor Sisters
July 17th, 2013 at 9: 43 am
S is for Soap, to ensure the cleanest of tit wanks.
July 17th, 2013 at 11: 11 am
S is for that sexy sex squelch.
July 17th, 2013 at 12: 32 pm
T is for tupping
Tits
And tonsil hockey
July 19th, 2013 at 9: 59 am
U is for Uranus.
July 19th, 2013 at 11: 16 am
V is for vigorous vaginal vibrato.
July 20th, 2013 at 2: 15 pm
W is for WankWall. The focal point of my teenage bedroom.
July 20th, 2013 at 2: 42 pm
X-rated Competition.
July 20th, 2013 at 2: 57 pm
yo-yo knickers.
July 21st, 2013 at 6: 41 am
Z is for Zorbing (Mammary-masturbation involving particularly large spheres)
July 22nd, 2013 at 11: 40 am
Accounting for all the double and multiple penetration going on here (yeah, you think I won’t notice if you come more than once?), I guess even though you only got through the alphabet the once, I’ll throw in a second book for the enthusiasm. So the winners are Barb and Michelle.