Nathan Hawke’s short The Anvil comes out as an e-book on the 12th February. In order to get ready for what will doubtless be THE fantasy event of the year (and so soon, too), Nathan is launching a massive publicity campaign which will consist of signing every single physical copy of the e-book, a gruelling one-stop signing and reading event at the Super Relaxed Fantasy Club and a market-saturating giveaway of a whole one other copy of The Fateguard Trilogy. 940 pages. 330,000 words. Everything Hawke has ever written. A man with an axe on the cover. What more could you want?

Usual deal – comment on this post before Monday January 26th and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim for a free copy. Super Relaxed Fantasy Club is meeting on the 27th January, 6:30 at the Grange Holborn Hotel. from past eperience I recommend getting there a little early in order to have a chance of finding where we’ve all gone. There might be a few copies available on the the night, but more importantly there are going to be a slew of fantasy authors, editors and, most of all, fans, hanging out. If you’re the lucky winner and you’re going to be there, I’ll bring the book; otherwise no one has complained (so far) about how long it takes me to get to the post office and post things, but  it can take a while and if you live abroad then it can take even longer. Sorry about that, but they do get there eventually. Well, so far. Am currently up to date, in that all recent winners have been posted.

I didn’t go a giveaway last week because Reasons. I’ve been working on the edits for The Splintered Gods for a couple of weeks now and likely will be working on them for a couple more. And then there was the whole thing about authors commenting on websites that talk about their books. I say *thing* because I’d like to say debate, but what it actually turned out to be was people posting their opinions, throwing insults and accusations, oozing snide but slyly unspecific  contempt and apparently culminating in threats of sexual violence against at least two bloggers who posted their own personal (and quite different) opinions. Which is something to not keep quite about and between the two things I never got around to giving away any books last week and have also been pretty crap at getting things posted (sorry Paul – it’s good to go now…)

This week’s giveaway is a complete copy of the Gallow series by Nathan Hawke (i.e. me with the letters rearranged). No words, no title, no name, just Angry Man With Axe, which is pretty much how I feel about the internet right now.

Cold Redemption Cover

The Last Bastion cover

Usual deal – comment on this post before September 28th  and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim for a free copy.

This week I’d like to hear your stories about crappy behavior on the internet. No names, please, and to enter the competition, you don’t have to tell a story, you can just say hi; but if you want to get something off your chest, here’s a safe place to do it (Note – Vent anything you like but I’ll not tolerate any comments on comments that attempt, in my arbitrary and biased view, to start a debate, nor the explicit naming of anyone for being a jerk. My intolerance will manifest as deleting or editing comments. This week is about having a bit of a rant, not debates or potential libel. Thought if you just want to get it off your chest about, say THE LIVING DISASTER OF JACKASS LANE-DISCIPLINE AT THE MIAMI ROUNCDABOUT IN CHELMSFORD, then you should be fine).

You can enter as may times as you like but I’ll count the first two entries – the rest are just for fun and showing off.  Extra points for humour and originality and I’ve still got the Angry Dragons mug if you make me laugh, smirk or otherwise amuse me.

It’s been an odd week. Back from holiday is always a weird feeling. Then one of our cats was missing when we got back and didn’t show up for a week ( by the end we were assuming he’d been hit by a car and died in a hedge – in actual fact, he’d taken to loitering around the back of the local steak restaurant where he was being fed scraps of steak and premium salmon, then been taken in by the restaurant owner, whose partner is a veterinary nurse and works at a pet spa. So while we were imagining him dying by the roadside, cold and in pain and alone, actually he was being bathed, cleaned, brushed, pampered and living on food I largely can’t afford to eat myself . You really couldn’t make this shit up. He’s not entirely pleased to be back). And in the midst of that, there was the final death-rattle of my stupid pleurisy thing from earlier in the summer, which largely consisted of “you’re fine, go away, there categorically never was anything to this more than random infection and your chances of randomly dropping dead are not severely inflated as was initially posited but in fact exactly the same as they ever were,” which turned out more of a relief than I’d expected.

In the middle of that, some writing happened, some of which involved getting stroppy with my Empires co-writer on account of me being stressed about lots of other things. If we’re still talking to each other by the end of this, we really should do a panel on co-operative writing. Anyway, there’s another draft of Empires: Extraction now and this one doesn’t turn into an 18-rated version of Transformers in the middle. And I polished off the first of two Bulldog Drummond novellas, of which I’ll say more later.

This week’s book giveaway is a mystery. I have a number of books available but I’m not going to tell you what they are. Comment here saying what book you’d like to get and I’ll pick someone at random and see if either I have it or Gollancz can spare a copy (hint – pick a Gollancz title…). You can enter as may times as you like but I’ll count the first and if everyone asks for the Republic of Thieves, I’d point out that IT’S NOT OUT YET. And I’ll sulk.

Although, though no one has yet complained about how long it takes me to get to the post office and post things, it can take a while and if you live abroad then it can take even longer. Sorry about that, but they do get there eventually. Well, so far.

I’m still quite taken with The Blood Juggler. I feel a short story coming on for which I don’t have time to actually write.

Meh. An entire week spent on stuff about which I cannot yet talk. I have been talking to a games company, proofing some other stuff… meh. Oh and rewriting the historical fiction thing. More of that this week and some SF about which I cannot speak and it’s about time to knock the short story for World Fantasy on the head. Meanwhile, this week’s free book is a little bit of a departure from my normal offering – you can blame one of the editors at Gollancz for that who appears to want to experiment on me. So we’ll see what happens. I actually have three copies to give away so expect them to come up again if they’re popular.

Usual deal – comment on this post before June 8th  and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim for a free copy. No challenge this week but now that I’ve been introduced to Rude Supermarket, there may be a more interesting one coming up. Maybe Lord of the Rings Supermarket (A is for Angmar, B is for Boromir, C is for Celador, etc…)

Although, though no one has yet complained about how long it takes me to get to the post office and post things, it can take a while and if you live abroad then it can take even longer. Sorry about that, but they do get there eventually. Well, so far.

I have a couple of collaborations in the pipeline with SF author Gavin Smith coming up, one of which I can’t talk about yet and the other one of which I can but have been systematically too lazy/busy to actually get on and do anything about. Anyway, since he’s a great guy and hugely fun and also my writing partner, here’s a book wot he wrote going begging. I haven’t read this one (too new ) but if the rest of what I’ve seen is anything to go by then it’s an adrenaline-fueled action-fest.

So to enter this time you have to help me resolve an argument – what’s the best SF spaceship ever. Is it really the Millennium Falcon? I’m looking for more than the coolest design – I’ll looking for spaceships with personality. So yes, the Falcon counts as it does have a prone-to-break-down-at-inconvenient-moment personality, just about. To enter the competition you have to comment on this post with a suggested spaceship before the end of Friday 26th. Please be prepared to be patient with the delivery and if it’s to an address to outside the UK then I’ll have to ask for a phone number as well as an address. But they do all get there eventually (I think).

Yay! New Year! And I have to choose between Ezio and jumping out of haystacks to murder people now and then or else Dishonoured and murdering people in other ways. Last week I polished off a handful of short stories that I can’t talk about yet and started the opening chapters of an SF project that I’ll explain once there’s a signed contract. Right now I’m in the middle of an SAS-supported drug bust going down in a skating rink. Bit different to writing dragons.

This week I’m giving away a copy of The Alloy of Law

Usual deal – comment on this post before November 17th and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim for a free copy of the book. No challenge this week. Although, though no one has yet complained about how long it takes me to get to the post office and post things, it can take a while and if you live abroad then it can take even longer. Sorry about that, but they do get there eventually. Well, so far.

Dragon Queen editing this week. Should be done by the time the next post goes up. There’s a cover published somewhere on the internet, but it’s not the one that book will have when it comes out, so best ignore it.

[1] Exciting bonus goody not guaranteed to be exciting. Actually it’s often a postcard. Which is pretty lame.

The King’s Assassin is officially out and that’s a trilogy officially done, a series officially finished, and if any of you were hoping for some more of Berren then. . . then read the book. All of it. Right to the end. There’s still  a freebie novella up on the Gollancz blog – a prelude to The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice. I’ll put a PDF up here shortly.

This week I’m giving away a copy of Robert Redick’s Red Wolf Conspiracy. This is the first volume in the Chathrand Voyage quartet, the last of which (Night of the Swarm) has just come out, so no irritating waiting for the series to finish if you get hooked. This is a truly magical series (as far as I’ve read) full of hope and wonder and magic, and I heartily recommend it for adults and almost-adults alike. Robert has a lovely website for the series here.

Usual deal – comment on this post and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim for a free copy of the book. In order to enter, comment on this post before the 10th November. Your challenge this week is to recommend a book to anyone else who comes to visit the giveaway page. If you make me laugh I might send an exciting bonus goody your way[1]. Although, though no one has yet complained about how long it takes me to get to the post office and post things, it can take a while and if you live abroad then it can take even longer. Sorry about that, but they do get there eventually. Well, so far.

[1] Exciting bonus goody not guaranteed to be exciting. Actually it’s often a postcard. Which is pretty lame.

I have a bit of a problem. I’m looking at my shelf of books to give away and there’s Altered Carbon up there, which I haven’t read, and Sharps, which I haven’t read, and I’m NOT giving either of those away, and then there’s a couple more but my editor is holiday and so is the other Gollancz editor and I CAN’T RESUPPLY!

So you get one of mind again. A choice this time: The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice or, if you’ve already read that, The Warlock’s Shadow.

It’ll probably be a trade paperback edition. Usual deal – comment on this post and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim for a free copy of the book. The thing with the Hyperion giveaway made me laugh and was far too much fun not to do again. So, inspired by a truly god-awful carnal scene from a best-selling author that I recent had to listen to being read allowed (if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know what I’m talking about), only comments will be accepted beginning:

“The absolute worst euphemism for sex/something related to sex that I ever came across was…”

You can be as rude as you like as long as you’re not libelous. The gods of random don’t care. But if you make me laugh I might send an exciting bonus goody your way[1]. Although, though no one has yet complained about how long it takes me to get to the post office and post things, it can take a while and if you live abroad then it can take even longer. Sorry about that, but they do get there eventually. Well,so far.

[1] Exciting bonus goody not guaranteed to be exciting

Next up should need little introduction. I think for me this is the funniest ever, bar none, even remotely, with the possible exception of the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.  And it can be yours. Usually deal – comment on this post and I’ll randomly select a lucky victim. But it might take a while because on account of the terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

The Book of the New Sun didn’t go down nearly as well as I thought it would but now I have more books to give away, this time another pair of The King of the Crags and The Order of the Scales as one lot (again). That’s the UK editions and I will sign and line them if you want. Perfect for anyone who got The Adamantine Palace[1] but never got around to the others, and yes, I have several more lots to give away because I need to clear space for when the new covers come out. You haven’t seen the new covers? Go see the new covers.

As a reminder, by the way, here are the old ones. Usual story – leave a comment on this posts if you’re interested in two free books and the gods of random will make their choice come the weekend. Also, tell me whether you like the new covers better than the old ones or the other way round or neither. Also also, have I mentioned the new covers?

If anyone was following my MOPNOWRIMO projects earlier in the year, the one I did in February is going through what might be its last rewrite and the one I did in May, which I distinctly remember thinking sucked like a Dyson[2], is pushing two thirds through its first re-drafting and turns out not to be so bad at all, once you get rid of certain obstacles like one major secondary character doing too much vacillating, too much descriptive waffle and the pointless and unnecessary addition of a primary non-human antagonist when there was a perfectly good human one just sitting there waiting to be used. Once he didn’t have NO HANDS any more. Never give your villain no hands. Really. Just don’t.[3]

[1] To be clear: The books I’m giving away this time are parts two and three of a trilogy. The Adamantine Palace is part one.

[2] I am getting spam from purveyors of Tutus again. This is a test to see if I can get some more technically oriented spam, because as a purveyor of FIRE-BREATHING MONSTERS I find that tutus, even in spam-form, seem remarkably… well, wrong.

[3] See previous post on no-handed heroes if you really really want to know.

I’ve got another goodie to give away and I thought long and hard about keeping this one for myself.

Long. And. Hard.

I have also books to give away again, more paperbacks of The King of the Crags and The Order of the Scales as one lot (again). That’s the UK editions and I will sign and line them if you want. Perfect for anyone who got The Adamantine Palace but never got around to the others.

Usual deal – comment here if you want it, winner chosen by random number generator. I’ve only got one of each this time and I intend to keep this week’s competitions open all week. I’ll pick two separate winners, one for the game, one for the books.

The Warlock’s Shadow, sequel to The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice, is published again tomorrow (which might be today by the time you read this). It’s been around as a hardback for a while but this edition is the dainty and cute little paperback one that fits into your coat pocket.

Some time has passed since the events of the Thief-Taker’s Apprentice. Berren’s being taught to read and write during the day, a process as painful to his teachers as it is to him, and how to fight with a wooden sword in the evenings when the thief-taker isn’t bodyguarding passing drunkard princes. If you’ve read The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice then you’ll know that the thief-taker most definitely has a murky past and possibly an even murkier friend. Well here it comes.

The thief-taker and his lad had, if I read the internet right, a small but quite enthusiastic readership. I hope you all like this as much as the first one. Of all the books I’ve written so far, this one gave me the most trouble but I think my editor and I between us have beaten out the flaws and polished up a gem to equal the first one if not better it. I hope you like it. It does have a bit of a cliffhanger ending but the third book in the series is out in October – the proofs arrived for me to do yesterday – so the wait isn’t so long.

The Warlock’s Shadow is only available in the UK, Australia and New Zealand (I think). It’s certainly not available in the US except as an import and so far I haven’t found anyone who can tell me how to get it as an ebook in the US either. There doesn’t seem to be much I can do about this and posting copies out to the US costs most than the book itself. What I can do is offer a couple up to give away. As with all the others, comment on this post saying something like “me me me” and I’ll randomly choose two ‘winners.’ The different this time is that for one of the copies I’m ONLY going to randomly choose among people who comment from countries where the book isn’t available – so if that’s the case, say so (otherwise I won’t know and you won’t go in the second pot). Everyone who comments gets a crack at the second copy.

Another Monday, another book giveaway, although probably not for regular Eastercon attendees. I have two copies of Tom Lloyd’s Stormcaller going begging. As usual, anyone who comments here will be eligible irrespective of geography and winners will be chosen by random selection.

I’ve not read Stormcaller myself but you can read a little more here. Tom’s great though.

I’m not blogging much this week partly because it’s half term and partly because the internet is turning me into Mr Grumpy. I’m largely uninterested in the Jubliee, ambivalent about the monarchy, vaguely Yay! about the Olympics and fairly Boo! about Workfare (or at least the way its been implemented), but right now the people to whose view I’m usually largely sympathetic are leaving me feeling like a nazi-grade nationalist for not being a rabid republican and a plantation slaver for sometimes demanding that my children do their homework before they’re allowed to play on the Xbox. An just let’s not even get started about Prometheus, OK? I haven’t seen it yet and I seriously don’t want to know, so you can all just get off of my cloud for a bit.

I have books to give away again, this time paperbacks of The King of the Crags and The Order of the Scales as one lot (again). That’s the UK editions and I will sign and line them if you want. Perfect for anyone who got The Adamantine Palace but never got around to the others.

MOPNOWRIMO Day 37. Up to  99000 words now. Trying to make myself write the ending now I know what it is. The muse demands I go back to the first and second books and rewrite those instead, the schedule says finish this one. Meh.

Progress report: Second draft of The Black Mausoleum completed. No significant structural defects apparent. MS will be delivered on time. Possibly early to make up for the last one. However, there’s just one little detail to be ironed out…

The Black Mausoleum revolves around a smaller number of characters than the previous books in The Memory of Flames, arguably five, depending on whether you count the dragon or not. However, there are a handful of very minor supporting characters kicking about, in particular a couple of hapless dragon-riders and a band of dragon-hunters to whom bad things happen. These are the red-shirts, the spear-carriers, utterly two-dimensional and more akin to part of the scenery than an actual character. They’re speaking parts, but only just, and in some cases, their speaking is limited to saying “Argh!” Right now, they need some names. Currently they’re called Lenk, Logan, Nico (short for Nicodemus) and, er… Dave[1]. It’s possible my editor may have some issues with this selection.

So yes, they need some names. I have a back-catalogue of other people’s annoying RPG characters that I’d happily use and then gain vicarious pleasure from watching them die in various burny squishy ways, but before I do that, here’s an open invitation to all you readers out there: send me a name for someone you’d like to see stomped on by a dragon/crushed under a falling temple/burned/eaten/eaten by canibals. They kind of have to be fantasy-ish and not either obviously copyright infringements or likely to get me thumped by another author at some future con, but other than that, I’ll pick and choose as I fancy from whatever I’m offered and there might be a note on the source in the acknowledgements…

[1] Because they’re Extras and I have a mate called Dave who looks exactly like… oh never mind.

Over the course of the next two weeks, members of the gang are going to be interviewing each other on their blogs:

Later TODAY: Sarwat Chadda interviews Sarah Pinborough

Tuesday 12th Alexander Gordon Smith interviews David Gatward

Wednesday 13th Sam Enthoven interviews the inimitable Alex Bell

Monday 18th: Sarwat Chadda will be interviewed HERE, and I shall be reviewing Devil’s Kiss (which I have been reading this week and look, there’s two things it doesn’t take much of a brain to realise don’t mix – teenagers and Secrets With Which Man Was Not Meant To Meddle).

Tuesday 19th Sarah Pinborough interviews Alex Milway

Wednesday 20th I explain to Alex Milway exactly which of member of the gang I would most like to eat.

Thursday 21st Alex Bell interviews Sam Enthoven

Friday 22nd David Gatward interviews Steve Feasey

Monday 25th Steve Feasey interviews Alexander Gordon Smith

William Hussey and Jon Mayhew are too busy doing things like actually writing their books to be engaging with such tomfoolery, but who knows? They might still get eaten.

To make this a bit more interesting, there are various opportunities to win prizes (largely that’s going to mean free books). I’ll be giving away something from my bag-o-prizes to anyone who sufficiently amuses me. BUT, probably much MORE exciting and a lot less fickle, there will also be the opportunity to win the entire Chainsaw Library (or at least, the latest book from each of us).

Apparently.To win the Chainsaw Library you need to score a token. Each token goes into a vast hat at the end of the competition and one name will come out. The lucky victim will receive signed copies off each member of the Chainsaw Gang. You can earn yourself multiple tokens, so make sure you visit each and every blog. It’ll be entertaining AND educational.

+1 token if you link the blog/website to yours (per blog)

+2 tokens if you stick our Chainsaw banner up somewhere

+1 token if you comment on the blog (per blog, but only for the first comment on each blog)

+1 token if you tell me who your favouriate SF/F/Horror villain is and why

+1 token if you tweet a link to this post (but I won’t know you’ve done that unless you include @stephendeas in your tweet, so make sure you do that!)

Note that each of the blogs is awarding tokens for much the same things, but not necessarily exactly the SAME things.

The closing date of the competition is Friday 5th November. The Chainsaw Library competition is open to UK residents only (really sorry about that!); any extra prizes I might whimsically award will be up to my discretion.

Anyway, Sarwat’s interview with Sarah is ripe and ready, so get commenting!

The first re-write of The Warlock’s Shadow is finished. There’s a sketchy draft of The King’s Assassin almost sorted out. What this means is… It’s finally time to start work on something new. The Great Re-Writeathon, which if I remember rightly started about last September, is over. It has spanned ten months and four books. Time for something new at last. Time for The Black Mausoleum.

Now I’m not going to say much about The Black Mausoleum, mainly because I haven’t written it yet and don’t know much about it[1]. I have the opening scene. I have some characters. There are some bare plot bones. What there aren’t, are any details. All the flesh has yet to be grown and hung in the right places. And within this congealing soup of  ideas and stringy bits of plot, lies the lurking chilli of opportunity.

What? MORE opportunity? Didn’t we already have some of that last week?

Yes indeed.

For a limited time only (16th September, to be exact), I have a something special in my box of prizes. You may, in a very specific way, put a character into my book. In a very specific way, as in they get a walk-on part that consists of showing up and then getting murdered in some very final fashion. Stamped on by a dragon. That sort of thing. Maybe they get to be tormented or tortured some first.

I have it on good authority that there really are at least a couple of “opportunities” in King of the Crags. I’ll extend the offer to The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice too (26th August). Spaces are limited[2]. First come, first served. Etc. Etc. So: Find typos and get to see your noisy neighbour, lousy boyfriend, the girl that snubbed you back at school, the boss who just never appreciates you EATEN BY DRAGONS! [3]

[1] But what about the synopsis, I hear you ask. Ha! Like that ever bears more than a skeletal resemblance to the actual plot.

[2] “And Lo, the mighty dragon did stomp upon the sea of pointless characters who are named for no apparent reason, and their names were Shem and Lem and Wem and The Person Who Axed Firefly[4] and Clem and…” Nah. Too Biblical.

[3] I reserve the right to Just Say No to anything that doesn’t seem to fit, names that simply don’t work or anything I simply don’t like. Live with it. If your school bully was called Samson Womblecrotch, I fear I will struggle to find a place for him in my world…

[4] Don’t waste your prize – he’s already in. Along with the constantly-rising-from-the-dead-for-the-love-of-science-and-reason-why-won’t-you-just-die Klimitange Skeptic

OK, I give up. You win (you know who you are). Competition over.

If I’m ever short of inspiration, I’ll do this again. Almost every name suggested has had so much character that large tracts of story have sprung up fully formed around them, demanding to be written. Powers Radishfoot, hobbit PI: Noir fantasy with tea and biscuits. Cornelius Carbuncle: Debonair Moorcockian time-travelling scholar. Duckface Wokwok: Er… All right, maybe not that one.

I am quite confident, however, that nothing anyone else comes up with is going to make me spill more tea over myself than Fanny Proudfuck did.

Right, so I’m off to Germany, King of the Crags is with Gollancz and the great re-write-athon is briefly paused before I launch back into The Thief-Taker’s Apprentice for one last[1] time. Who knows, I might even manage to write something new for a few days. In the meantime, though, I have a little competition to keep the three of you who read this amused.

See, I’ve noticed several authors of fantasy offering up bit parts in their novels. I think there was a competition to get a name into the last Wheel of Time novel. One of the prizes at the David Gemmel Legend Awards was choosing a character name for a cameo appearance in a forthcoming Stan Nicholls story. Most recently, Pat Rothfuss is auctioning off an appearance in A Wise Man’s Fear for charity. Maybe it’s the next big thing in getting close to our readers?

Or maybe not. As Pat amusingly observes, there are… issues. So here’s the deal. I want to see your worst-nightmare names for a cameo appearance in any fantasy book. Not ones that infringe copyright or ones that look more like a password, but recognisable original names that would make someone like me tear out what little hair I have left if faced with trying to crowbar them into an existing story. Something to really make me cringe. The one that makes me laugh the most gets a randomly selected prize. The more I laugh, the bigger the prize.

The benchmark to beat is Spartacus Beefcake (Studd’s big brother), but I’m sure y’all can do better. Cringe-worthy RPG character names are welcome.

[1] Last except for the editorial re-write. And the copy-edit rewrite, the ‘oh, I’ve just had another good idea’ rewrite and the ‘oh, that wasn’t such a great idea after all’ rewrite. And the proof-read (but that doesn’t really count).